There are so many times, when chatting with families or discussing what sleep training looks like and families immediately state, “Is my baby going to cry?’

My biggest question to them is… does your little one cry when you walk out of the room to the kitchen? Does your little one cry when you hand them over to dad why you shower? Does your little one cry while they’re in the carseat and no one can get to them?

Their answer is always, yes. At least at one of those scenarios. So, my answer to their, “will my baby cry during sleep training?” Is always, it depends on the baby. I cannot promise you that there will be no crying, and I cannot state that there will be level 10 crying. Babies cry.

Why do babies cry? BECAUSE CHANGE IS HAPPENING. And also, your little one is now realizing… wow, my mom can walk out of the room WITHOUT me. We are NOT the same person. Once again, CHANGE.

I suggest that the families that work with me sit back and go… Has there ever been a change that conjured up some feelings for them, themselves? Feelings of sadness or even happiness. That is what it is like for babies, especially if the new sleeping arrangements are a BIG change.

SLEEP TECHNIQUES

So, how do we implement Sleep Training Techniques while also, encouraging healthy sleeping habits, and keeping a co-regulation relationship with your child?

Room Preparation: Having the room prepared and set up to result in darkness meaning bedtime, sound machine for soothing and safe bedding for safety.
Appropriate Schedule: We cannot expect a 4 month old to go down for bed easily if they’ve not napped all day. They’re exhausted and unable to settle.
Filling their cup during the day: Responding to their needs and wants efficiently throughout the day and regulating their feelings to ensure that co-regulation is met.
Lot’s or reassurance: Calming and understanding words. “THIS IS HARD.” “It is okay to be sad.” “Mommy and daddy want you to sleep and receive the rest your body needs.”

Separation Anxiety:

This is a normal milestone that your little one will encounter. Research used to state that this would happen closer to nine months, but now they are stating that this could occur as early as FOUR months. It honestly depends on the child.

What is Separation Anxiety?

Little one becomes upset as soon as the parent, usually mom, walks out of their eyesight.
Little one is usually comforted and no longer upset once mom is back in their eyesight, or they are comforted by mom.
Can occur as soon as four months with peaking around eight months and 15 months.

What does Separation Anxiety look like during Sleep Training?

Imagine yourself walking into your new job position after working years for another company and creating bonds with the other employees. This is your little one. They are entering a dark room without their parent. Their sadness is totally understandable. They are experiencing change.

I do NOT implement crying it out when working with families. There are three different techniques that I use and they each offer different amount of support and reassurance.

Will crying happen? Yes. IT PROBABLY will.

Will you be able to reassure your little one throughout the day and also, implement a process during the night to remind them you’re still there, yes too!

My goal to also implement within the Sleep Plan with my families is way to ensure we are respecting their Separation Anxiety.

How do we FILL THEIR TANKS?

Peek-a-boo: This helps teach your little one that you will disappear, but also, RETURN!
Lots of positive reassurance: IT IS OKAY TO BE SAD AND CRY! You are human and those feelings are valid. Do NOT ponder to long on the sadness. Remind them that you are always there to protect them and keep them safe. Keep positive words around sleep. Do NOT use sleep or bedtime as a punishment.
Creating a 1:1 Routine: Before the bedtime routine begins spend a solid 10-15 minutes with just the two of you. FILL THEIR TANK.